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If you could open any sort of restaurant, what would it be like?

We've always joked about opening a restaurant that tells the whole truth... Its name?  "Food That Doesn't Suck."  I know, I'm just trying to be honest here...

I suppose it would have serve chili, tzatziki, only red wines, Chorizo, anything with curry, Dr. Pepper, french toast, mashed potatoes, coffee, all Mexican food, and Chex Mix if it is going to represent me...

Of course my photos would be plastered all over the walls.

It would also be a bookstore.  And music?  I would be the DJ.  Inside, of course because I think I might also have movies playing up against the outside wall, so you could eat cafe-style while watching.

I suppose that's what it might be like.

Play any instrument or speak any language, which do you choose?
Question submitted by cruftbox.vox.com.

Even if I did not already play instruments, I'd have to go with speak any language.  Of course that language would be Russian.  If so, I could take all of the annoying learn-to-speak-Russian stickers down from every item, wall, and piece of furniture in my home! 

Катюша (Katiusha)

Thanks to Gillian for the invite!